A new school year is exciting. There's that wonderful feeling of having a fresh start, catching up with old friends, and making progress by moving up a grade. But there's no denying that it can be stressful too. It's natural to feel a mix of emotions - such as excitement and nervousness - about what's ahead.
Kimberly, 14, says, "I'm happy about going back to school - I'm bored stiff here! But I'm worried about reputation, teasing, failing, and being a nerd."
If you find yourself preparing for school by hoping for the best and imagining the worst, you're not alone. That's how most of our readers feel as school starts up again.
What's Worrying You
We asked our readers (ages 14-17) to tell us what worries them most about going back to school. More than 600 people replied. A third of all those who took our survey said they worry most about schoolwork. No surprise there. Getting ready for a new year of schoolwork can definitely be challenging because you'll be learning more advanced things. So worrying about whether you'll do well enough in school is pretty common. If this is your biggest worry, at least it's nice to know you're not alone.
But not everyone said schoolwork was the thing that worried them most. Just as many readers said they worry most about social issues like fitting in, having friends, being judged, or being teased. And since social life is such a big part of school, it's not a shock that so many students say social issues are their biggest worry.
Besides schoolwork and social stuff, another category ranked high on the worry list: appearance. One-fourth of the people who responded to our survey said appearance issues worried them most of all. If this is you, you've got plenty of company, too.
What You Do About It
We also asked you to tell us how you plan to cope with the things that worry you most, and whether you have advice for others who feel the same way. Here are some of the things you said:
Schoolwork Worries
Rachel, 15, told us, "I'm kinda hard on myself, like I feel really bad if I don't have a 4.0 grade average." Lots of people are hard on themselves, but worrying can just add to the pressure.
Casey, 15, wrote, "Stressing too much about it doesn't get you anywhere. It's good to be concerned about your work, but you have to act on that."
Here are some of the plans you have for coping with schoolwork:
Zach, 18, says, "Better time management. I need to stop talking with the social butterflies and get to work!"
Michael, 16, plans to "come home, take a quick break, and then get started on my work straight away. Procrastination only brings frustration!"
Katie, 17, offers this advice: "To avoid trouble, do homework as soon as possible and at least start projects the day you get them."
Finding the Right Balance - and Support
Fallon, 16, says, "Finding time for everything is going to be a challenge!"
Daniel, 14, agrees, and adds, "I play sports so I have to keep my grades up to play." How does he keep the balance? "Work really hard and lean on my parents for lots of support. If you have parents around that actually take an interest in you, take advantage of that and let them be there for you."
Relying on other people for support and advice is popular when it comes to schoolwork and balancing all the pressures school can bring.
Claire, 15, plans to depend on her brother, "who is 18 and has been through it."
Mandy, 14, relies on her mother for advice.
Dana, 14, advises, "Use the guidance counselor. That's why they are there."
Chelsea, 16, who is trying to catch up in school, says her teachers have been a big help: "Since I asked for help I've felt more relaxed and more normal so that now it doesn't bother me as much as it did."
Nisha, 15, says, "I'm just going to pick a few things to commit to so I don't overload myself."
Balancing school with life's other demands also includes staying healthy. Lots of you told us that your goal this year is to eat well, get plenty of exercise, and lots of sleep so that you'll be primed to succeed.
Social Pressures and Problems
When it comes to the social scene, making new friends is one of the biggest worries people mentioned. Lots of you said that you were worried friends would be in different classes or even at different schools.
Some talked about feeling shy and awkward:
Jenna, 16, shared how "I can be shy sometimes and don't like talking around people."
Jessie, 15, says, "I'm going to try to make new friends and talk more. Don't worry about being awkward because others are too. Lots of people are good at being cool, but they are insecure too."
Finding a safe, welcoming group is a great foundation for dealing with the ups and downs of school. "It's important to have your own little or big group that you can hang out with," says Jessie.
Lolo, 14, explained how "My best friend left last year, and I'm worried about who I'll hang out with." Her strategy is: "Don't hang out with anyone who has a good social image but who is mean. Try to find someone who will really be your friend."
Many of you are concerned about drifting apart from friends and breaking away from existing friendships to start new ones.
Jen, 16, told us, "I have not talked to my best friends all summer. I don't want to be their friend anymore, but they don't get that."
Leanna, 14, says, "I am stressed about the groups and who I am going to sit with because I have different friends in different groups."
Tim, 14, worries about "making new friends without ex-friends spreading rumors."
Brittany, 15, who worries about dealing with "rude old friends" offers this advice: "Be nice to everyone, you never know who you may need help from in the future."
And Amina, 14, says, "There are these really jealous girls and they are always stressing me out." She's found that just being nice to them can make a lot of difference: "They will be amazed at how you treat them and maybe loosen up some."
Using kindness to stop meanness in its tracks is one good way to deal. Jessica, 16, has another strategy for coping with rude people: "I just ignore them. It drives them crazy when you don't act or seem like you care about anything they have to say."
Some of you worry that the things you did in the past will influence how people see you now. Tina, 15, told us, "My best friend and I were in a car accident last year when we decided to go to a party instead of school. So I am worried that my peers and teachers will think that I am irresponsible because of that incident."
Amanda, 14, says her way of dealing with rumors and gossip is "to hold my head up high, smile, and try to create a new reputation for myself. Change the negatives into positives!"
Natasha, 17, said she's still dealing with the fallout of turning down a date with a popular guy 3 years ago when she was 14. Here's how she plans to deal: "Move on and enjoy the people in my life who have stuck by me. I think if you are going through a situation like me, don't worry about people who don't like you for dumb reasons. Focus on yourself and trust yourself."
Looking Good
How we feel about the way we look is closely tied to social issues, feeling comfortable, and being accepted.
Says Codi, 14, "I am not usually a shy person, but starting high school in a new school is scary. I don't know anyone other than those on my soccer team. I am afraid that once they see me out of my soccer clothes and in my skater cut-up clothes they won't want to talk to me."
"At my old school, I was the most popular girl," says Emily, 14. Now, she says, she's worried because, "I'm starting to get acne and developing." Gaining weight and dealing with body changes were big issues for many of you.
It's natural to worry about appearance, but lots of you said that you're going to try to keep things in perspective.
Casey, 14, explains, "A year from now, will what you worried about really be a big deal? Other stuff is going to happen."
Lots of you recommend getting the support of a friend, parent, or counselor when you're feeling down about your appearance.
Keisha, 15, advises: "Don't worry about it so much. And when your family and friends say you look great, accept the compliment, because it's true!"
Mickie, 14, told us she has no worries about starting school, but she does have this advice for looking good on the first day: "Wear clothes that fit your style. Don't wear something that makes you look like a poser."
And Lia, 14, reminds us, "If you're worried about your clothes and how you look, just remember that it's what's on the inside that matters."
We couldn't agree more.
